25/08/2017: A REVIVAL

I suppose it’s not the worst time to reignite this blog. after all, my url is ‘tothefourcorners’ and I’m about to start another adventure. not as far from home as I was going when this blog started, but still an adventure.
the last helping of posts on here all have a theme of aiming to post more. I don’t know if I’ll follow through with that, but I need somewhere to put the ramblings of my mind right now so that’s what I’m doing.
it’s been a long time, blogspot. so much has happened. I fell in love, my world turned upside down. we had a baby. we fell apart. the baby grew into a toddler. I went to college, I got into university. I fell in love again.
now it’s August. just over four years since this blog started. my heart still aches, I am still lonely, I’m still a bit broken sometimes. but I am the strongest I’ve ever been. I’m raising the coolest kid on the planet and I’m going to university this autumn. 21 is a good age.
so let’s kick this blog tf off with some probably overly personal things of note:::
the bruises smattered over my thighs, my hips and over my shoulder blades are almost gone. I wish you could fade from my mind as quickly. I saw some dumb thing on twitter that john boyega of all people retweeted. it said something like : “don’t break your own heart by making out you’re a bigger part of someone’s life than you actually are”. except it was far more succinct and worded better. anyway. I honestly feel personally victimised by that tweet and want to take out a complaint against john boyega for retweeting it and putting it in my face on my timeline. it’s just. sO ME. I hate that it’s true but hating it doesn’t make it go away. hopefully at some point in my life I’ll learn to actually like boys who are nice and who really like me instead of bending over backwards trying to convince myself that this trashbag dude is actually decent.
IN THE MEAN TIME I am distracting myself by talking to boys on tinder!! always a good idea! it’s not like I met the trashbag dude from previous bulletpoint on tinder in the first place! great! but it’s fine because I’ve been chatting to a lovely lad named kyle about societal constructs and the illusion of gender. it’s been top bant. or something less cringy for me to say.
in other boy-related-but-not news, teddy had [ his second ] mri yesterday. it was traumatic (for me) and exhausting (for us both) and my mum came with me and as ever was a literal rock. you know those people that you know you would legitimately be deceased if it weren’t for their unwavering support and love for you…???? yeah. that’s me @ my parents.
and given we’re on the subject! : to my darling parents. I’m sorry for doing dumb shit that went against your wishes. I’m sorry for the tattoos and the piercings and just generally being an incredibly exTRa daughter to raise. you’ve had your work cut out a crazy amount and that’s not about to stop any time soon given you’re gonna be looking after the child I had when I was a teenager while I’m at uni so like………. oops. sorry. my bad. I love you both.
but on the flipside I’m going to cambridge!! so how terrible can it all be realistically? I have three and a half GCSEs, a truckload of issues and an army of support in the form of my fam and friends (who are basically my fam anyway so like….. yeah.)
I’m ready to take on the world
in the words of kesha:

I KNOW THAT I’M PERFECT EVEN THOUGH I’M FUCKED UP

sarah out. hope you enjoyed this instalment of life rambles. stay tuned for a possible reliable revival of TOTHEFOURCORNERS.